I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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