she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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