i jhust puked up my retainher.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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