ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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