The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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