Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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