He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The beer is more important than you right now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
