Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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