Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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