my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
MIDGETS
????
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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