You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
nutella sex= disaster
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
