She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
