i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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