I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
