either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
