how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
