i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
