I haven't been this sober since birth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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