drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
