that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was born a porn star she said
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
