i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm too high and old for this...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
