love makes seman taste better
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize