dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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