ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
