My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
