So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
