and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize