I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
