No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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