If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize