didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
