I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
40s are totally the cure
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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