You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
