love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
