I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize