Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
