'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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