# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
