I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize