she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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