i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
