she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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