did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Your dad touched me again.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
