Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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