I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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