So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
