next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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