So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
