I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
