Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We have so much sex to catch up on
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
