taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner