So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.