We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
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nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.