Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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