I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning