Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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