just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
