my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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