Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
