based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it glows. i had to have it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
