1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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