Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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