She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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