I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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