I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
