i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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