He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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